Im not, but its that I dont seem to be able to be happy with what Ive been given that makes me feel that way. I pray about this. I pray that God will help me to understand his plan for me, give me the stregnth to deal with my own shortcomings and the patience I seem to lack with everything. I feel like I need more time for living life and it just isnt available.

Despite still feeling awful I am still managing to focus on him. Him being Mark, him being far away and not mine. Its been a while, months since I have seen him but I still think of him everyday. Is that normal?